Oh goody. Family. JOY.
Burn
pezkitty
I just got a Facebook friends request from someone who I assume I'm related to based on who our mutual friends are, but whose name I don't recognize. Since they were also "recommended" by my cousin on that side of the family, I'm guessing they're legit. Fine. I'll friend 'em.

But it made me realize... I dunno if I'm more sad or frustrated with my extended family for exactly how I get treated by them. Almost all of my family just kind of, well, ignored me for a good 20 years, and even today most of them outside of my grandma and my cousins really still do. Honestly, I didn't enjoy really ANY family gatherings growing up (to be fair, I didn't enjoy much of growing up...), but at most it was "oh look at how fast you're growing up. Now shoo." At first I chalked it up to being the kid, but then I watched how my cousins got treated, and realized that "yeah, it IS me, not that I'm a kid."

I can accept my family not wanting to be around me, or not taking an interest in me. Quite frankly, most of them have given me little reason to take an interest in them. So live and let live, right?

Apparently not, as most of these people have this opinion that I should (1) know who the hell they are, (2) care, and (3) be happy they're gracing me with their presence. I've never been good at following the family tree, and over the years I've had zero incentive to get better at it. I mean, really, how interested were you in finding out more about the people in YOUR life growing up who patently ignored you.

It didn't help that my childhood life could easily be summed up as damn near miserable, and thus I often had more fear for my parents than love (Mom in particular - Dad more by proxy because he'd back Mom on the "unified front" principle). I don't know the conversations my parents had with my family, though I know that since I didn't have any chance to tell my side of anything, and I know my parents (again, Mom in particular), would "tell how I was behaving" to them, I had it reflect badly on me (Grandma explained it to me at one point - and she's pretty much the only one - that I would get railed on in these conversations, and at least Grandma thought Mom was way too hard on me... I didn't learn this til after I was out of high school). So, the more time that passed, the more I was just "this awful kid that my parents had to deal with," because even if that's not what I was - most of my friends' (few as they were) parents would have killed to have a kid as well-behaved as I was - and even if it's not how my parents actually viewed me, it's how I got treated and painted as, and well, perception takes over.

Now I get people in my extended family who suddenly want to be in contact and act like we're supposed to be all chummy-chummy and I should behave like it's all good? REALLY?!! You take zero interest in me, you blow me off at BEST, and now, NOW you give a shit? With a few exceptions, I have rarely felt like a part of this family. The immediate extended family on my Dad's side has been a bit better the last few years (my grandparents on my mom's side passed on years ago... I think I was in high school - to be fair, Grandma was a total sweetheart, and Grandpa cared, just didn't know how to show it), but for the most part, I see or hear something about my family and all I can think is "and I care... why?"

I get why my mom might care, or why other people of my family might. But I have a hard time feeling the same. I mean, really, get left out in the cold enough, and you just don't get excited when the door opens now and then, and you sure as hell aren't interested in the new human who claims to want to pet you. Especially when you've been punted for your trouble enough times.

*sigh* And my family wonders why I hate family reunions.

WOOHOOO!!!
Dr. Hobo
pezkitty
And today, today I am done at Domino's. Just got home from my last shift! Now, five days off, then off to jail on Monday! Can't wait!

=^~_~^=

Two days to go
GM Bowser
pezkitty
Today I have a long shift that has my exit interview attached to it, and tomorrow I work the late shift, but don't have to close. After that, SWEET BLESSED FREEDOM! I have to get the paperwork done on Wednesday for the job, which is when I assume I'll learn my schedule, and beyond that I have a nice 5-day weekend to relax and get ready for the new workies.

Both the owner and the store manager have said I'm welcome back to work for them (or even just pick up a shift on a random day) if I like - they're not terminating me in the system either, so all I'd have to do is just say "hey, I would like some hours" and they'll hook me up. Hope I'll never have to use it, but it's nice to have the fallback, and to know that I'm liked well enough to have the option. The dayshift supe's told me that anyplace he's in charge he'd hire me on the spot too. I guess I must have done something right in two years there.

Side note: Dear last boss at the old job (the other five were just fine): YOU SUCK. Seriously, every other boss I've had in the last 11 years knows I rock face, so don't even try to sell what you pulled as anything but personal BS. Jerkwipe. =^~_~^=

Additionally, for those who haven't heard about it on FB... Tempest has learned how to open sealed plastic containers. He already could open cupboards and drawers, but up until now, the airtight container (NOT ziplocs, he just eats through those) has been my ace in the hole. Apparently the new thingy of catnip wasn't airtight enough to hide the smell, and he (1) opened the drawer, (2) dug the container out of the drawer, (3) MANGLED the container until he got the lid off [seriously, there are so many claw and tooth marks through this thing it's unreal], and (4) spilled it all over the living room floor and "reaped the benefits."

On another note entirely, Ascii has learned that this is awesome, because Tempest gets in trouble for it, but he gets as much catnip as he can eat/snort/roll in until I wake up. I now have this image of Ascii being a drug kingpin and Tempest his somewhat-twitchy muscle/underling/drug pusher.

So yeah. I don't care what you or anyone else says. Life is good.

=^..^=

Five to go...
Cock!
pezkitty
tick... tick... tick...

=^~_~^=

TWO WEEKS NOTICE!!!
Metroid Love
pezkitty
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

IGOTIT IGOTIT IGOTIT IGOTIT IGOTIT!!!

GLEEEEEEE!!!!

=^~_~^=

*sigh*
Artemis
pezkitty
Know what sucks? When stuff starts to look up for you, but suddenly starts looking down - in some cases way down - for people you care very much about. Really kinda depressing.

Gives me yet another reason to want the new job... I don't want my shiny spot to go poof and make people more depressed.

=^..^=

One Step Closer
Cock!
pezkitty
Yeesh. Opening is painful sometimes when you're used to a closing shift. At least it means I get to relax the rest of the night. Maybe I'll finish the laundry.

Two things though: First, if you're on X-Box Live, download Harm's Way. It's FREE. Tom showed me this last night, and for a free game, it's pretty awesome.

Second, and more important: PISS! Got a phone call from the sheriff today while I was working - they want me to go in on Monday for a drug screening and TB test. They didn't come out and say I passed the background check, but there's no reason to think I didn't if they've waited this long for me to take a drug test, and they just now asked me to do it. I have to keep telling myself I don't have this job yet (chickens, eggs, hatching, and the like), but it is getting closer and closer to graspable, and I am very excited.

This may be the happiest I've ever been to go pee. Well, at least definitely top ten.

=^..^=

DDR Injuries and other sundry
GM Bowser
pezkitty
So played DDR while I went out today on my impromptu day off (covering a coworker on Thursday, so he took my close tonight), and the stitching on the sock rubbed in such a manner on my pinky toe that I now have a nasty blister on the thing that's about a third the size of the top of my toe. Ouchy.

Also exchanged two shirts (that really didn't look, well, good at all) and a really nice leather jacket I got for Christmas for a different new leather jacket. The original coat wasn't bad, but the way it was made, it wasn't big enough in the upper back/shoulder area, and it felt like I might "hulk out" and rip the stitching in it at any time. The exchanges were enough to get a nice coat that normally runs like $225, but was 70% off, so I finally for the first time in like 11 years have a new coat that I'll actually wear.

Also used a gift card to pick up Final Fantasy 13. Probably gonna poke around a bit more on Dragon Age then play that... I got a couple DA downloads I haven't finished and still need to get to...

Hope everyone's Christmas rocked and that ya'll have a happy new year! Now, housework.

=^..^=

Merry Christmas (and happy naptimes)
Metroid Love
pezkitty
Good God I'm beat.

Dear life: I wants a normal. I'll settle for a consistent.

All week has been a little nuts - I originally was going to work an open-to-close on Christmas Eve... since we closed at 8:00, it would have been a 10-hour shift, which is not on its own that big a deal, but I did have to plan ahead to deal with it and family timing for Christmas. That was the rough part. So I'd been trying to twist my sleep schedule an hour earlier each day. Then I got a call asking me to close the night before Christmas Eve, which wouldn't be so bad except that now I'd trained my body that 2:00am means in-bed for tomorrow. Suck. At least I didn't have to open the next day, but it just made the adjusting the internal clock that much messier.

Add to it all the worrying and running about I'm still doing worrying about this job thing (the background check is fully underway, so hurry up, wait, hope, and worry continues), and the holidays, and I am just plain tuckered. Plus, the car's starter died last week. Bonus! December hasn't been bad, just rough in spots, tiringly so. At least it's not depressingly so. I can deal with being tired, I'm just gonna bitch about it.

It's kept me from finishing the background I wanna type up for the next tabletop game too. I'm only half done with it, and I'd hoped to finish by game tomorrow. That is SO not happening at this point. Too bad. I'm really enjoying flushing Shiba out - she's turning out to be quite the entertaining character.

As for Christmas, it went well. Saw grandma, spent the evening with the parents, played games with them, then came home. Put presents away far earlier than I normally do. I suppose due to lack of really having anything else to do. I think, quite frankly, I don't really wanna be alone right now. I really want someone to talk to, but noone's awake/available. Ah well.

Couple decent presents - new leather coat (not sure if I'll need to exchange it... it feels really stiff and constricting in the shoulders, possibly too much so), and an iPod shuffle (hey, a cell phone AND an iPod in the same year? I'm officially part of the 21st century now!) But the big win: a binder full of my grandmother's best recipes. Some things come and go, but that binder will see use until the day I die - both as a means of making nummies, and reminding me that grandma loves me.

Off I go. Maybe I can find something to do to keep my mind awake til bed. Nite, and merry Christmas.

=^..^=

MOAR NAO!
GM Bowser
pezkitty
Just watched the season finale(s) of Burn Notice while wrapping Christmas presents. Damn I love that show. The worst part?

SIX FREAKING MONTHS UNTIL SEASON 5! ARRRGHHH!!!

I so wanna be like Michael Westen when I grow up. And those bastards who write the show know how to do cliffhangers. Hasn't been a season yet where I haven't been positively drooling over the next season premiere.

Was so caught up in it I wrapped maybe 3 things in nearly 2 hours. Back to work I suppose. Maybe I'll watch Love Actually this week since it's Christmas time and that's my favorite seasonal flick.

=^..^=

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